taking inventory of my heart

A good thing about blogging, like journaling, you can look back and see where you have come from. Reading this post from Sept caused me to take some time to reflect on what a different place I am in today as opposed to 1 year ago. looking back

On Dec 21st of last year I wrote this post and at the end of it I wrote, " My prayer and HOPE for 2011 is that where I have sowed in tears I would reap with joy." That has never been more true for my year.

As you know In January of 2011 I wrote a few goals for myself. One of them was to stop focusing on the child I so dearly wanted and to really appreciate the child God had given me (Preston). I dug in full time to my Vietnamese study and really all around I knew it was time to pick myself up and move on with my life.

Little did I know that 1 month from that post I would be writing this post. I still remember the day I took a pregnancy test more out of a routine before I started my final fertility treatment. I remember getting a positive and just crying long sobs because I felt like it was some cruel joke. I remember feeling so forgotten by God for so long and then in the same breath so undeserving of such a gift.

It took me until about half way through my pregnancy to rejoice in the miracle. I felt so guilty that still so many friends were still praying for their miracle.

Now 1 year later Im staring at the face of my 2 month old daughter and tomorrow will be celebrating my sons 4th birthday and I am left with just one thought. THANK YOU GOD!

Thank you for my 2 kids...thank you for your unconditional love...thank you for this miracle!

So it is with a happy heart that I go into 2012 excited for all that the year holds. Excited to feel more and more at home in the culture we are living in.

New Beginnings

I rarely make New Year resolutions. This year I decided more to take inventory of what I'm doing and areas that need improvement. I came up with a LOT, but could only focus on a few.

some of my thoughts are:

1. I want to focus less on the heart break of trying to get pregnant again (trying for 2 years now) and just be thankful for the now 3 year old that God HAS blessed me with. I want to be a better mom by: cooking healthy, playing fun and meaningful games daily, reading more to him, and crafting for fine motor skills etc.

2. Memorize more scripture: Tim and I have started a journey of memorizing the book of Philippians together. We should finish by Easter. So far I have the first 10 verses done.  After Philippians I'm not sure what I'll memorize but for now that is enough.

3. Be diligent in my Vietnamese language study. As a mom there is ALWAYS the excuse that you are too busy being a mom you can't be a full time language learner as well. When I learned Thai, Preston wasn't born so that excuse wasn't available to me. However in January I started a new program and it requires me to study 18 hours a week with my nurturer (language teacher). This means Tim has to share more Mr. mom responsibilities. We are now done with the first 18 hours and by the time I post this will be half way through week 2. It has been good and I'm enjoying it. I pray daily for God to give me a sharp mind and a diligent work ethic in this regard.

4.  BLOG MORE!  as you can see Im already doing this. I decided that twice a month I will sit down and write 4 blogs each time so I can hopefully get a post up twice a week to keep all of our friends and family involved on just the ordinary parts of what we do here in Viet Nam

So those are the ones I decided to focus on for now. So far I am moving in the right direction with all of them. Happy New Year to you all.