On Dec 21st of last year I wrote this post and at the end of it I wrote, " My prayer and HOPE for 2011 is that where I have sowed in tears I would reap with joy." That has never been more true for my year.
As you know In January of 2011 I wrote a few goals for myself. One of them was to stop focusing on the child I so dearly wanted and to really appreciate the child God had given me (Preston). I dug in full time to my Vietnamese study and really all around I knew it was time to pick myself up and move on with my life.
Little did I know that 1 month from that post I would be writing this post. I still remember the day I took a pregnancy test more out of a routine before I started my final fertility treatment. I remember getting a positive and just crying long sobs because I felt like it was some cruel joke. I remember feeling so forgotten by God for so long and then in the same breath so undeserving of such a gift.
It took me until about half way through my pregnancy to rejoice in the miracle. I felt so guilty that still so many friends were still praying for their miracle.
Now 1 year later Im staring at the face of my 2 month old daughter and tomorrow will be celebrating my sons 4th birthday and I am left with just one thought. THANK YOU GOD!
Thank you for my 2 kids...thank you for your unconditional love...thank you for this miracle!
So it is with a happy heart that I go into 2012 excited for all that the year holds. Excited to feel more and more at home in the culture we are living in.
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