Pregnancy journey and words from my heart

Just because no post is complete w/o pictures

(random picture for this post I know)

Wednesday I had my Dr apt. baby Isabella is growing, active, and healthy. He thinks she is already about 3kg (6lbs) and I still have 6ish weeks to go. On a positive note I only gained 1 lb this whole month for a total of 15lbs this pregnancy. Isabella is already head down, and has found new places to kick me. I LOVE how active she is in my belly and have tried to enjoy every moment of this miracle inside of me.  I still am at awe of how God knitted this whole miracle together. Healing, not only my body, but mending broken wounds of my soul as well.
                                                                        The last 2 years have been extraordinary for us. I feel like I have undergone a GREAT surgery of the body, mind, and soul and am finally able to take recovery bandages off. I remember praying that if we ever got pregnant again that it would be a sign to me that the work God has been doing in my heart was well on its way (we know it is never fully complete). I feel that way! I feel like I have open communication lines again. I feel free in so many areas of my life. It actually took me until after I was 20 weeks pregnant to begin to fully enjoy this miracle. I had prayed fervently for 2 years for this and then all of a sudden BOOM GOD DID IT!!  I dealt with a  lot of guilt for my friends who are still struggling with infertility. I felt the weight of their burdens on my shoulders. I had a little 'survivors' guilt. The WOW why me? I had felt forgotten by God for so long. I felt insignificant and unimportant in the scheme of eternity. Then all of a sudden it was as if God reached down from heaven touched my womb in a way only HE could have done and said, "let there be LIFE." and there was. I can't explain that feeling, but for sure weeks of unbelief followed the positive pregnancy test. I still pray almost daily and many times multiple times through out the day for my infertile friends. My heart is broken for these families. I want God to touch their lives like he did mine. I want them to be set free from the lies that the enemy tells us, 'we are  insignificant...God doesn't care about our burdens etc.' I want them to experience the joy I have over this least 8 months. I want desperately more that all of that, for God to mend broken hearts and heal old wounds of the spirit. So when I think of this season I will forever think of the endless possibilities that God has in store for us. He has made my joy complete... not by answering my prayers, but by mending my broken heart and soul. HE has set me FREE...Im free to love more selflessly. Im not sure what the next phase of our lives hold. Im not sure what the next mountain will be that our family will climb, but I hope to look back on this season as a place to draw strength to take the NEXT STEP! I am NOT in CONTROL HE IS!!! God remind me of this daily. I don't want to go back to the valley of dry bones, but I want to continue to swim in the water that brings life.