taking inventory of my heart

A good thing about blogging, like journaling, you can look back and see where you have come from. Reading this post from Sept caused me to take some time to reflect on what a different place I am in today as opposed to 1 year ago. looking back

On Dec 21st of last year I wrote this post and at the end of it I wrote, " My prayer and HOPE for 2011 is that where I have sowed in tears I would reap with joy." That has never been more true for my year.

As you know In January of 2011 I wrote a few goals for myself. One of them was to stop focusing on the child I so dearly wanted and to really appreciate the child God had given me (Preston). I dug in full time to my Vietnamese study and really all around I knew it was time to pick myself up and move on with my life.

Little did I know that 1 month from that post I would be writing this post. I still remember the day I took a pregnancy test more out of a routine before I started my final fertility treatment. I remember getting a positive and just crying long sobs because I felt like it was some cruel joke. I remember feeling so forgotten by God for so long and then in the same breath so undeserving of such a gift.

It took me until about half way through my pregnancy to rejoice in the miracle. I felt so guilty that still so many friends were still praying for their miracle.

Now 1 year later Im staring at the face of my 2 month old daughter and tomorrow will be celebrating my sons 4th birthday and I am left with just one thought. THANK YOU GOD!

Thank you for my 2 kids...thank you for your unconditional love...thank you for this miracle!

So it is with a happy heart that I go into 2012 excited for all that the year holds. Excited to feel more and more at home in the culture we are living in.

squeezing it in before we left Chiang Mai

The last week before we left Chiang Mai was busy. We had a lot on the list, one of which was to get the kids Christmas pictures taken at the mall. We foolishly found the only time that worked which was at 6:30pm after dinner. Not the best time for the kids and as it turned out every photo place in the mall was packed. When we found a place that wasn't it took a while to talk them into photographing Isabella. They were sure the light would do permanent damage to her and were baffled that we had even left the house with her. After patiently talking with them. We did manage to get them to squeeze the kiddos in for a photo session. Literally 25 snaps in 20 min we were done. Preston was also DONE! We paid our $5 and left with a CD. All we needed was 1 good picture for the photo card and our friend would turn it into a lovely Christmas card. Enjoy some of the pictures we had taken and the final product.

My favorite time of the year

For our family, the Jesse Tree has been a fun way to focus on God's foresight, love, and grace in the matters of men as we remember the world's first "advent" of waiting for Christ from creation until His Birth.

Ignoring the official church calendar for Advent, we usually begin our Jesse Tree tradition Dec. 1st by finding a large branch that each of the ornaments will rest upon in the coming days and weeks.   We will start out with, "In the beginning" and have a globe ornament as representation. typically we eat dinner and then sit in the living room by the Advent wreath where we will light the 1st candle. We then talk about ornaments we have already talked about. Mostly it is Preston telling us in his words what each one means. We then in story form explain the new ornament and let him hang it on the tree. Afterward we sing a song and we each pick someone or something we can pray for other than ourselves a neighbor, family member, someone in need etc. We end the evening by letting Preston blow out the candle. Since Preston is just shy of turning 4 we try to keep the whole thing to about 30  min.  

I have come to LOVE the season of ADVENT! It is a meaningful time for our family. My favorite thing about this is watching Preston light up with excitement while telling us what each ornament means. 

May the peace of God be evident in your house during this powerful season. For unto us a child is born.  


Later I will share some new traditions that we have begun this year and are excited to carry out in the years to follow. What are some of your favorite traditions that are meaningful for your children?

My kiddos

This is Isabella's CUTE Christmas dress from my Aunt. Sometimes I feel like Im dressing a little doll. It still feels unreal to fully wrap my head around this miracle I get to hold and snuggle with daily. 

Preston and I have been up to fun as well. When we got back from Thailand we made wrapping paper to wrap his Christmas presents in.

famous in Hanoi

The other day Tim came home and said that a lady told him she saw Preston on tv. Tim just thought his Vietnamese was rusty from being away and dismissed what she said. When he told me what she said I reminded him that the week we moved to Hanoi in August of 2010 we walked into an ice cream shop and they were filming something. We searched for the shop on google and found what they were filming. At 3:10 in the video you can see our family enjoying our ice cream and Preston with his thumbs up.

Some priceless 'Vietnam' moments

When we returned to Vietnam after being in Thailand for 3 months I was happily greeted with cooler weather. In Thailand the weather was nice. 70's at night and 80's during the day. A perfect warm spring like weather. Isabella and Preston were used to wearing light clothing. However, in order to fly back to Vietnam I wasn't sure if the plane would be cold, but I put Isabella in long sleeves and pants just in case. She sat in her car seat and I had a blanket covering her. She was cozy enough, or so I thought.

We arrived in the Hanoi airport and as Tim was about 15 feet away arranging our taxi a lady came up to me to admire Isabella. Im used to Preston getting poked at by complete strangers and being asked to take a picture with people. However after a minute of this lady admiring Isabella we soon had a crowd of women gathered. around us.  They all smiled and commented about various things from her red hair to her tiny body. It is true that when you get pregnant everyone has an opinion about how you should or shouldn't raise your kids. In Asia, or rather Vietnam it is almost the God Given Right of the community to make sure you follow certain unspoken rules. I found out quickly that not only do people have an opinion about how you should raise your children but there are certain things that are close to child abuse if you do not follow them. I found out last week that putting a hat on your newborn is one of those RULES.

As I stood there waiting for Tim to finish negotiating for the taxi  it became clear that I was not going to be able to leave the airport without proper clothing on my child. They felt it would be negligent on their part if they let me do so. Let me just say it was probably 60 degrees outside and Isabella was pretty snug in her car seat. Clearly not cold, but when in Rome do as they do right?

I was glad that I had my moby wrap in the bag next to me so, with a crowd of people looking to see how I was going to remedy the problem tied the moby on and tucked my cozy sleeper in it. They weren't sure this wrap was going to be enough, but when they saw that even her little head was tucked away underneath the wrap they were all satisfied, and there was a sigh of relief in the crowd and a clearing was made to let the 'negligent' foreigner through.

It was a fun moment reminding me that in this country it takes a village to raise a child.

We now know to never leave home with out socks and a hat on our tiny red head. A huge thank you to Renee Horsman for the MOBY and to all the ladies at the airport who helped me see the error of my ways.

Happy Birthday to my MOM

                             Happy Birthday MOM! I wish I was there to celebrate with you.

The saddest part of Amy's visit

The worst part of Amy's visit was seeing her leave. She spent 11 days with us. It was so nice to have family come and see us. Preston LOVED having her as did Tim and I. We miss Amy and wish we could see her more often. We are thankful and blessed that she flew all the way out here by herself to spend time with us. 

GROUP HUG...and below is Isabella's way of saying, "COME BACK AMY I MISS YOU!"

1 month and so strong already

On November 17th Isabella Grace turned 1 month old and Nana Janis made 12 onesies to mark each monthly occasion. LOVE THEM!

'nong dang' my little red head

Ill let the pictures speak for themselves, but thai people love to call her 'nong dang' because of her red hair. She truly is PERFECT!!! 

                                                         A very proud BIG BROTHER

Amy's visit part 3

It was sort of an animal themed week while Amy was here. I didn't realize how many animal things there are to do here in Chiang Mai. Because Preston is so young, he could only go see the new born tigers

1 month old already

Isabella turned 1 month old yesterday. I can not believe how fast time has gone.

Our miracle baby!!!!

She is still a good sleeper and a good eater. This week I can tell she is starting to recognize more and is becoming more aware of her surroundings. She still has a full head of red hair. We still can't tell what her eye color will be.

We are looking forward to getting back to our life in VN. Im excited to introduce her to all of our friends there.

Only 1 month old and Isabella Grace has already brought so much joy to our lives.

Amy's visit part 2

No visit to Thailand is complete with out a trip to the elephant camp. The last time we went Preston was only 2 and was scared of the elephants. This time he is almost 4 and giddy with excitement. He loved feeding them bananas and sugar cane.

Tim, Amy, and Preston enjoyed the elephant ride while Isabella and I relaxed in the shade.

Amy's arrival to Thailand

Amy brought a full suitcase of gifts with her. One of Preston's favorites is the buzz light year costume she brought. He loves playing dress up with his friends. The costumes Amy brought along with the capes my mom sent make a great starting place. I especially like when Preston gets Tim to put on some of the costume as well. :) Sorry no pic yet, but soon I will get one!

On day 2 of Amy being here we had a picnic at a waterfall. Isabella just hung out, but Preston got to put his feet in the very COLD mountain water.

More pictures to come of Amy's visit. We had a GREAT time and miss her already!

Our first week as a family of 4

So much to post about. So much to be thankful for. First let me say, as I opened up the blog to make a new post I saw my last post and all the maternity pictures. There was sort of a grieving in my heart...questions like, "Did I enjoy my pregnancy enough." "Will I remember what it feels like to have her move in my belly." Having had such a LONG and DIFFICULT journey to get pregnant I was grieved by the fact that I might never have this opportunity again. Then as I looked up from the pictures I saw my miracle baby girl snoozing away in her favorite chair. PURE BLISS!!! SHE IS PERFECT!

So I guess the grieving is more of a sense that a season has come to an end. 9 months is a long time to have a life growing inside you and then in a matter of hours that season has ended and a new season is just beginning. So I put the past behind and look to the future.

Isabella's first week on the outside has been GREAT! She eats like a champ, even gaining weight in her 1st week check up. She also sleeps ALL THE TIME! I know newborns are supposed to do that, but you forget how much they sleep. I almost always have to wake her up to eat.

Things that I have LOVED this week are:

  When Preston refers to Isabella as 'our' baby
  When Isabella cries as I give her a bath Preston comes to her side and says, "It's okay Im here."
  The smell  of her skin
  The feeling of all 7lbs of her snuggled close to my chest.


 Those are just a few small things. I LOVE being a mom to 2 amazing children. I pray for the grace and wisdom to raise both of my kids the way He wants. My kids belong to God alone and I am but a steward over their lives for a short time. I pray that I can cherish every moment.